Why Stillness ~ Episode Two

Why Stillness….

Is that a question? If so, it is so “of it’s time”. Totally appropriate.

We are living in the most accelerated times. Have you noticed the speed of time? It is roaring through and we are being pulled so fast that our hair is flying, we can barely catch our breath, our eyes are streaming with the stinging speed.

Why Stillness? Because the speed is seductive, mesmeric, over-bearing, furious and we have no idea how to jump off.

It is so stunning, quite how much we fear stopping, jumping away. What will we find if we do? It is nail-bitingly terrifying to think of being forced to bear stillness.

Our current lexicon includes a wonderful word, entirely rooted in this speed analogy: bandwidth.

Our bandwidth cannot cope with stillness. We need to check our phones, we have to write an email, we are in the middle of binge watching a tv series, we have to check we locked the back door… 10 times…. We cannot sit still for fear….

For fear. Nothing else. We have been exponentially hyped-up to speeds of mind and body never-before-seen.

And you could just say: I don’t have the time or the bandwidth for stillness and turn away. You would be proving my point, but you would then miss the other side:

Why Stillness..

To learn how to be still, yes, it is something that has to be learned, and it is oh, oh, oh, so easy to forget how.

Rather like sugar. Have you ever been entranced by sugar? It creeps up on you, overtakes you, and nibble by nibble, slice by slices, bite by bite & spoonful by spoonful you are detained by sugar in all it’s lascivious forms.

You are lost now, I know. I can tell. You are thinking of lovely little crispy pink sugar mice, how they would feel in your mouth, or maybe remembering flying saucers, mars bars…. the enchanting trance of too much sugar.

We were talking about them seductive and mesmeric, overbearing and furious speed of life. Maybe you do both! The speed of life & the sugar! So many do. They seem to go so nicely hand in hand, skipping off down the road…..

Why Stillness….. because we are worthy of untold gifts. We are worthy of so much that comes with the ability to bear stillness.

Over these short stories I will be reflecting with you on how we loose ourselves and how we can find ourselves.

If I tell you, will you believe me?

I am pretty sure you will not, as I have to repeat myself a 1000 times. It can feel like a Godly curse, this number. And it is so curious, that people, you, they, those I tell, a 1000 times, never seem to note how oft I echo myself. As if I shout in a cavern from afar, and that call reverberates on, and on, and on… and in the repetition it becomes hypnotic. You, they, those I tell, enter into a trance, and do not believe…

So when you hear my voice, that echo, reverberating through the cavern, 1000’s of times, you turn your head to listen and your eyes glaze over, you are seduced into staring in a daze, not hearing. A Brown Study, eyes unfocused,

The King! your sovereign Lord has seduced you and you are lost. Lost in the mists of time: the pain of the past and the fear of the future.

The trance is an extra-ordinary state of being. And the trance is caused by your deep faith in this Sovereign!

You have been seduced into making your mind your King, your Monarch, your Ruler, your Sovereign, your Majesty, your Almighty Lord.

Notice how purely personal it is… yours, yours, yours.

And the great decree from the mighty ruler is this: You shall not believe anything other than your mind!

What is it that I want to tell you?

I want to tell you that you have forgotten, and perhaps never knew, that you are the Divine incarnate. You have forgotten, even since the sentence before this one, that you are capable of moments of such exquisite stillness, bliss. And when in that state of presence, you merge with the perfection of the Universe.

Boom… You are not alone, abandoned, lost and afraid in world you do not know.

A tall order, to believe this, let alone hear this, I know. But then, this is why we are here, sitting quietly together, on the lush grass, perhaps leaning back against an apple tree in an orchard on a sunny spring day, watching the blossom falling in the breeze. We are here because you want to know how to find stillness.

Who is this King? You ask me. Why do I have a King? I don’t want one, you whine. It makes no sense… I don’t have a Majesty! You despair and look down, sad, now.

See: You have forgotten, yet again, that you are Divine. It takes but a moment.

This internal Potentate is the power you give to your mind. It is a cruel and dark place, your mind. You really ought never be allowed to spend time there: alone, abandoned, lost and afraid. Your mind is abusive, vicious, vengeful & shaming, but because you have made it Your Majesty! it is now so intoxicating, seductive and persuasive you cannot step away, will not put it down, dare not think for your higher Self, you believe every word, thought, memory & projection. To even consider the option to step away is paralysing.

There! We hold the nub, the kernel, the crux. You are paralysed in fear and torment. It is all so simple, really.

And what you do not know, and cannot hear, and will not learn is this:

Your internal Majesty! is O, Oh! So clever.  And I play… because I can, and, because if this is not intriguing you will wander off, bored.

Your mind loves, adores and, actually, when under the auspices of this stress-inducing Ruler, has to be lost in the mists of time. That is the spell: that you have no feet on the ground, no moment of presence or reality. It is desired, nay demanded of you: you are held in a thrall, a seductive pull, a magnetic resonance, where it is not safe. It is a thrilling danger….

Did you not know? Have you not noticed the gradual notching-up, the ramping-up, the drumming-up of your fear of being alone, abandoned, lost and afraid in world you do not know.

Presence: the gift of right here, right now, is what you have been seduced into fearing, and will not trust or see as your due, your right and your real and steadfast home. Presence.

So we play, with three very important emotional responses that the Sovereign has discovered work a treat to seduce you into believing every word and thought that your mind says.

These three words are Offended, Oppressed and Horrified.

Three states of being, so potent, so overtaking, so tantalising, that have been discovered to be the magical keys allowing your mind and body to be ruled, to be taken over, to belong, totally, to The King!

See yourself, on tiptoes, one hand up, shielding your gaze from the bright sun and the wind. You are standing atop a high mountain, way, way up, in the Lands of the Past and the Future. The mists of time swirl around you. It is cold. You are alone, abandoned, lost and afraid, in a land you do not understand.

The ground constantly shifts, you cannot keep your balance, and with your head above the clouds, you constantly fear attack…..

This is the New Comfort Zone. Welcome. I may be the first to be able to accurately describe it to you….

The Gods of the Internet are a wild and clever bunch. They have found a way into yours and the collective brain and they are loving it.

Their long, thin, boney fingers are wriggling about, inside the oldest part of your brain and making your mind and body do crazy things: this why you are on tiptoes, one hand up….

These clever Gods with their long, boney fingers are prodding deeply inside your Limbic Brain. And you do not know where that is, do not know where you keep it, may never have even heard that you have one.

It is how you keep safe, how your body is driven to anxiety, fear, stress, oppression, horror, offence. These long, bedraggled and gruesome fingers are invisible, and they come out through the social media apps, the shiny, mirror-like screens, the horror films and news sites. They pinch, prod, flick and squash a tiny, tiny, tiny part of your Limbic brain, over and over, because you cannot hear, are too seduced by fear, that you need to step away!

The key to their power is this: You do not realise, refuse to remember, that you are the Divine incarnate. And you do not realise that to remember this, to pull yourself together, you need to step away from the long bony fingers and land on your feet, on the ground, in stillness and presence. Step away from the long bony fingers and land on your feet.

We only seek moments of stillness, I promise.  We are not taking you prisoner here.

My commitment is that I will sit beside you, here in the forest, on this large comfortable log in the shimmering, golden evening light. We will listen to the birds and play a game together.

I can hold your hand if this is too unfamiliar, and I will put my arm through yours, interlock my fingers with yours. I have got you. You lean against me, and my hand is strong, warm and dry.

Let us breathe together.

If you can allow yourself to gently land into the now, for that is another name for stillness, there is always a gift waiting for you. It is in presence, stillness & the now, that we can soften and expand.

We can allow ourselves to merge with the Universe, with nature, with the energy of now. Because right here, right now, is always exquisite. Always perfect. Like the softest kiss on your forehead from a loving universe.

A Blessing.

Let’s get Blessed…..The Square Breath.

We shall set off together, sitting on this large, comfortable log, into the wonderlands of your consciousness.

Sit beautifully, if your hand is in mine it is fine, and spine straight. Close your eyes… My job is to repeat myself a 1000 times. Pull your tongue back & up, inside your mouth and press it up, underneath your nose, in the Cathedral dome of your upper palate.

Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds.

Hold the breath for 4 seconds.

Exhale by pulsing out the breath in 4 pulses. Each one is a 1/4 of your lung capacity.

Hold the breath out for 4 seconds.

Repeat the sequence for 3-5 minutes.

When you are finished, inhale, hold the breath and tighten your body. Then sit gently & still.

The L Breath

Sit comfortably, this one can be done in a very peaceful style, with the eyes closed. Perhaps sit with the right hand in the left, hands softly resting in your lap.

Gently touch the crown chakra at the top of the head.

Gently touch the third eye.

Both these touches are to assist you in locating where you will be breathing from. You only need to touch once, not to keep returning.

With your eyes closed, visualise that you inhale through the crown chakra, through the top of your head. Feel the cool air coming in, feel the slight pulling of the skin of the skull. Feel the cool air in the skull.

Exhale visualising the breath leaving through the 3rd eye, between your eyebrows. Feel the warmth against the inside of the skull, as if the pressure opens the third eye, and on the forehead, feel the skin being pushed out as the exhale pushes through the 3rd eye.

Continue for 5 minutes, eyes closed, breathing entirely through the top of the skull and centre of the forehead. At the end, close both the 3rd eye and the crown and sit very still.

Who knew…….

Relevant Books: Reality by Peter Kingsley, Darkness Visible by Simon Buxton, The Book of Silence by Sara Maitland and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

To experience Carolyn Cowan in class or workshop please visit her website Credits: Text & concept – Carolyn Cowan, Visuals: Isadora Hugo. Layout: Sophie Budden. Editing videos: Tom Vereker. Sound Mixing: Tati Rabell, Layout: Sophie Budden. Research: Sara Jayne Edwards Music: Feverkin and Hucci on Soundcloud


Here’s a little of the feedback on the episodes so far:

“The words blew me away & the practices did something quite the reverse, in that my breath found me again. Still & rooted is a beautiful thing.”

“I can’t tell how exquisitely calm and whole I became during and after finishing the sequence. I know it, I find it, than I loose it, then I find it again… Thank you for being the beacon.”

“Divine. And a warm hug to my 9 year old self.”

“What a trip! This is incredible Carolyn. Amazing.”

“This is an extraordinary series, thank you for creating and curating as you have. Finding a new depth in my stillness through these recordings.”

“Gosh Carolyn you take us on such incredible journeys. I go through so many emotions, lovely!”

“Every episode is even more beautiful than the last. Thank you so much. I laughed during this episode several times too. I adore the writing. Most of all I really do love the stillness it brings. The best day of the month is the day a new episode lands. Thank you Carolyn you are a genius.”

“… languid, sensual, beguiling… Perfect. Just amazingly perfect.”