ADHD

This is personal.

And I am so thrilled I can barely contain myself. I am that thrilled I have had to dance around to very loud music whilst watching myself in the mirror, I am that thrilled. 

I fucking love my ADHD. It is hard to describe what fun it is to be this way. It is the ultimate weapon against Those Who Should, notice this word, Should, Love Me. 

I get to torture you, YOU, over and over and over. It is such fun it makes me want to scream, dance about, masturbate, throw things, get really high and laugh like a mad person at you.

And I fucking LOVE, I fucking LOVE how helpless that makes you. 

I LOVE that it FLOORS you. 

I LOVE that you are anguished by my thrill and it ramps up my volume. 

I LOVE that you despair and I am in raptures. 

I LOVE that you cannot control yourself and have to SHOUT at me. 

I LOVE that I can drive you to throw things in frustration.

I LOVE how you turn away and I am instantly gifted by more insights as to how to torture you. 

There really is no escape. I own the goldfish bowl and you are my goldfish. 

You have no idea how to soothe me, how to touch me, how to hold me, how to stop me. Because once I have started…. 

And right now, this instant, I know I have got you by the shaved and once was curlies! I got you by your bits. I got you, right there, and it is the NUTS. 

Tigger has no idea! 

I am the creature from the Black Lagoon….. your void, my void, who cares? Only you. 

I dont.